I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
