She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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