I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
