did you get engaged???
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
