Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
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