His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
