It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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