I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
