Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
