I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
