Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
