she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
