I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
