Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Just pee around me
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Randomize
