I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
