I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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