I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
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