I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
