He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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