i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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