gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
