I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
