so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
