Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
