i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
