Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
