I'm going to jail i love you
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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