You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
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