I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
