Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I will be naked everywhere
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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