im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
