the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
