I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
