This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
