I can tuck mytits in my pants
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
