He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
