hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Someone shattered a urinal.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize