just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
