dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
so much tequila, so little girl.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Randomize
