stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
