she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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