No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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