seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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