she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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