your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
