I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
