I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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