I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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