The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
