Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Randomize
